Today started out like any other day.

1.20 p.m.
i am a little early when i reach the school so i wait in my car. There are already a few parents, mostly mothers, waiting for their kids to finish school. Some retreat to the shade under the trees and are busy chatting away, about their kids and some gossips about the their kids' teachers, i imagine.

1.30 p.m.
"Ring...." The kids hop in and off we go.

.40 p.m.
After dropping off one of the kids home, i bring the other one to buy his lunch at a restaurant.

1.50 p.m.
Reach the centre. First thing i do is to open all the windows and the door to the back of the centre. Then while the boy is eating and toying with his food (whatever, as long as he eats it), i go through their school bags and check for homeworks (no, they don't have any privacy with me).

2.25 p.m.
Go out again to fetch the other kid from his house and back to the centre.

3.00 p.m.
The other two kids, a boy and a girl start to arrive.

3.40 p.m.
The oldest student, a standard six girl, sister of the boy from home, arrive.

4.00-6.00 p.m.
An endless stream of questions, problems and i have to give the answers.

That is exactly the routine that i have been doing for the past six months. Today was a typical day, only it was my last day teaching the day-care class. i had spent exactly half a year on this job, the longest i've ever held.

After thirteen years as a student, i never imagine i would one day be at the other end of the cane. Throughout the six month period, there are days that i just dread going to work, forcing myself out of bed, only to groan at the thought of having to go to work later. But now, when i'm at the end, i suddenly have a mixed feeling. Relief, yeah. Happy, yes. Sad, a little. Oh, just being melancholic.

In this short stint, i've learnt a lot. Mostly, about my short-comings as a truly capable, competent teacher. Looking back, i was not the only one teaching. My students are teaching me something about life too. i know it all sound very cliche, but it's true. One of my students, H from the art class, told me: 不要小看自己,因为人有无限的可能.(Don't look down on yourself, because men have immense capabilities) Although with her age (she's only five), it's not very convincing, it was the way she said it, with full conviction (eyes wide open), that totally win me over. i'll try to remember that.

i used to think i'm a patient person (ok, quite). But now i realise i'm not. 'Patience is the art of concealing impatience." And that, i have a lot to learn. Frankly, i don't know how many times i've lost my cool in front of my students. i just can't take it when all at once, two or three of them start shooting questions at me at the same time, and each other raising their own voice to cover the other. "Teacher, how to spell 'fire brigade'?" "Teacher, i don't know how to do this." "Teacher, how to write (a chinese word)?" "Teacher..."

i can't take it when i've repeatedly explain a simple maths question and they still don't get it. It's like you're already explaining for the Nth time, with varying methods and examples, they still stare back at you or give you one of those blank look. Or better still, they smile back to you. =)

"Mr Ali sells 1234 eggs today. He sold 2134 eggs yesterday. How many eggs did he sell altogether?"
Blank looks.
"Ok, lets put it this way, i gave you 5 sweets yesterday, and i give you another 3 today. Now how many sweets have i given you?"
"8!" (They get excited at the thought of sweets.)
"Good! Now how did you get 8? What method you use?"
"Add!"
"Very good."

Not every maths problem is that easy. And not every one can be solve even when i use 'sweets' as an example. What i really can't take it is when despite my efforts of revising with them, they still come back with dismal results in their weekly spellings, tests and exams. When i said 'dismal', i mean it. Have you encounter any student who score an '8' in his BM test, a '17' for his chinese paper? And the most frustrating is, he's not even in the least of 'intellectually challenged'.

It is times like this that i truly felt my failure as a teacher. Hell, i'm even ashamed to admit i'm the teacher. There are times i really doubt my capabilities of explaining the simplest things. Experience like this humbles a person. Not enough that i'm feeling bad myself, the parents decided it's my responsibility. They seem to think that after paying money, it's only right that their kids should at least improve. i know it's my job to make sure they did all their homeworks correctly, but i have to be responsible for their performance in school? They come to the centre for a few fours everyday, 4 hours the top, and later spent time watching tv and playing at home, not even touching their books, and the parents wonder why their kids aren't improving. What are the parents thinking?! That's when i decided i had enough. To hell with it! i want out. i told Ms Lim i'm quiting after my first month.

That was five months ago, just after they got their monthly test result. From that time till now, i've learnt that 'money is a great motivater'. Ha. Just kidding. She didn't raise my pay, but i need the money. i figured that as long as i do my job, i have no qualms if the parents still want to complain. i just don't give a damn about what they say anymore.

The kids, especially the two boys, drive me up the wall all the time. But today, suddenly, they don't seem to be so annoying anymore. One of the boys ask, 'Teacher, did you bring camera?' Ha. Never thought of that. i guess they're well aware that it's their last day. i thought i'll only be too happy to leave the job, but no, now i realise i just might miss them too.