When your fate seems to hang on the very button that you are clicking, you concentrate hard on the screen before you, anxiously waiting for the clock to strike 12 and frantically refreshing the page every second or so.

Then finally the hour came, you fill in the form, you fumbled. And then you wonder. How long did that just cost me? Several seconds? Or God-forbidden, minutes have passed?? And you racked your brain, going through the whole process again, calculating, speculating, which does not appease the heart now still beating frantically, the poor little organ that got all worked up from all the adrenaline rush.

That aside, still busy having meetings and sign language song practises for the welcome tea this saturday. i hope everything goes well. i hope there will be enough people going for the welcome tea. i worry about attendence, i worry incessantly about stuff that are boggling me, things that i tried to push to the back of my head, this thing that i have no control over. i felt as if my fate is hanging precariously on the edge of a cliff, from which i have no intention of jumping down. Studies, readings are starting to pile up. When labs and tutorials hit full force next week, they are going to snowball, and turn into this nasty monster that could swallow me up.

Please tell me i worry too much and that everything will be fine. i'm trying to stay positive, trying to stay sane.