My first training after a hiatus for two months plus-it was disastrous.

i'm mentally and physically tired, worned-out. i've lagged behind so much that most of the time i have no idea what i am doing, merely clumsily following other people's steps, trying to play catch-up, and ended up feeling like a failure.

It doesn't help when the other girls were absent and i was left alone. My shoulder blade feels like burning and i got punched near my left eye and kicked in the stomach.

What makes me think i can play well in a guy's game? Why am i doing this to myself? Who am i kidding that i can do this? i had no idea what i am up against.

For the first time, i feel like giving up. It hurts and i'm drained.