It's been a week since it's missing.

i mean my black cat. Well, actually, it's not mine but it very well could have been. It came to my house one day when it was still a scrawny, weak kitten. We fed it milk and see it grew stronger and bigger day by day. Now it's a handsome all-black tom-cat. Or should i say 'it was'? i don't know. i know i should use past tense as something in my heart tells me it's not coming back, ever.

There will be no more of that familiar 'meowing' sound that greets me when i come home, or that tinggling, soft touch i felt when it rubs its silky body fur against my feet, begging to be 'sratch' behind its ears, or that familiar sight of a cat sitting right in front of my house door, waiting patiently to be fed 'Friskies'... During the first day of CNY, mum even tied a red ribbon around its neck and it looked so cute with it...

But the stubborn me don't want to use past tense as that sounds cruel even in my own ears. Using it would mean finalising things, that it really is NOT coming home, forever.

i don't care if people say an all-black cat is a sign of bad omen or that you should move back 7 steps if you ever see one. IT is the closest thing to a pet i've ever had. but i hadn't even give it a name... Coming home from work everyday, hoping to catch a glimpse of it, hoping that it'll somehow come home after days of 'wandered off'... only to be disappointed again and again. Now, the truth is finally starting to sink in... And yeah, it hurts whenever i think of it.

i miss my lil' feline friend.